I realized today that I’m living in a freezer. I can only assume some plan has been put in motion which requires my long-term preservation. I cannot blame them.

I’ve always maintained that if ever I were to encounter a zoo named after a character from Futurama, I would visit it. Today I was forced to uphold that vow.

I was forced to take a boat get there, but I am not stranger to ferries. The boat was surprisingly fast; the voyage short and scenic. Next, (after disembarking, to be clear) I boarded a bus. The trip by bus was even shorter than that by boat. After all that, I found myself at Leela’s zoo.

Now, what do I know of zoos? Sure, I may have attended a few distant (temporally and spatially) zoos. Those vague memories helped me little. No, when I think of a zoo I think of a place where I have accompanied Tim to return a computer. A place where poker is played.

Sure, it could be claimed that on those occasions I did not see the Greater Vancouver Zoological Centre as it was truly meant to be seen, but the thought that struck me as I walked into Toronga zoo was that it was a different sort of zoo entirely — and no, not the good kind with humans and aliens in cages. Longest. sentence. ever.

Anyway, the zoo was huge. I was there for hours and still didn’t manage to see the entire thing. I did, however, see a bird show and a dolphin show. I caught a glimpse of condors, but they eluded me as I made my way through that maze-like expanse. I saw kangaroos, and echidnas (they didn’t look at all as Knuckles had led me to believe). I saw chickens and bears.

Oddly, most of the creatures seemed to have two eyes.

That night I caught another bus, somehow I ended up in Bhondi. I walked along the beach as sand blew at my face. There weren’t many people around, possibly because it was night time, possibly because it was windy and cold.